Ever since Hospital
What a strange feeling... Ever since being to the hospital I'm wandering between two extremes. The One being the need to do everything at once and I get really restless, however I also have the feeling of wanting to do absolutely nothing, I don't want to study, to meet with friends, to do anything in front of my computer, simply nothing which seems to be a very unusual feeling for me. I at least want to do something... usualy
If anyone can agree with me please tell me.
Christopher
If anyone can agree with me please tell me.
Christopher
posted by Anonymous at Sunday, January 22, 2006
2 Comments:
And this is so incredibly frustrating to watch! On Sunday evening I was so angry with Christopher for "wasting time", when he knew that he had tests coming up this week, but when I read his post, I felt awful. I told him that he needs to tell us how he is feeling, because to us it just looked as though he was being negligent and careless.
I have absolutely no idea how to deal with the periods in between episodes of menigitis, how to guess how much Christopher might need a little pushing or when he might simply need sympathy, understanding or just some rest. These are things that we probably all need to learn together.
Christopher, I can completely identify with what you are feeling! I have now been off from work for 4 weeks-and I have spent most of it doing nothing (e.g., sitting on the couch, looking at nothing...reading the same page again and again...looking at the computer and not being able to decide what to look at or what to do). I have no energy to do anything, even the things I enjoy. I don't really want to see anyone or talk to anyone, but I also know that isolating myself is probably not good either. When people offer to help, I get annoyed, I think because I don't know how they could help. Could someone else make up my mind for me about what TV show to watch? Could someone else decide if I am hungry? Could someone else go ahead and take a shower and wash my hair for me? Could someone else concentrate on the book I am reading? It feels a bit like you are adrift on a ship--you can see things going on all around you, but you can't really participate or get to them-if you happen to "float" near them, then maybe you can join or pay attention...but if it requires physical, mental, or emotional effort, than forget it. Aileen is right...it will be hard to know when he needs pushing, when he needs, sympathy, and when he just needs rest. Aileen should talk to Joseph (who can sympathize with her) and I will sympathize with Christopher. Just today, the doctor told me it will be another two weeks before he will consider approving my return to work. Not feeling well for an extended period of time takes a toll on everyone-physically, mentally, and emotionally. I "feel your pain"!
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