Queen Paddy

QueenPaddy1.jpg
Originally uploaded by aderieg

Last Friday was the school ball for this year’s graduating classes. Since Christopher, Paddy, Seth, Sascha and several other people we love will graduate this year (barring any major disasters), Peter and I wanted to go and celebrate with other parents. Despite the dissatisfaction with some of the ball committee’s decisions, which has been expressed for some months now by various members of our extended household, and despite Christopher’s objections that a graduation ball is a bourgeois and reactionary tradition, Peter and I were determined to go, even though none of the boys were terribly enthusiastic.

Then Paddy came up with a brilliant plan: he decided to go the ball as a girl and compete to be chosen Queen of the Ball.

He enlisted the help of several girls who enthusiastically lent him a ball dress and agreed to do his hair and make-up for him. I found a pair of sheer black stockings for him and a pair of black sandals with heels that he could at least get his feet into (they don’t make women’s dress shoes in size 46), also a pair of clip-on earrings that I wasn’t previously aware of owning. Since I am not particularly well furnished with ball clothes and accessories, we had some discussion about a silk jacket, because I wanted to wear that myself. In the end, a long silk scarf worked well for him over the dress.

The girls did a fantastic job, and he really was lovely that evening. I was pleased that he didn’t parody supposedly feminine behavior, as boys usually seem to do when playing girls. The way he moved wasn’t entirely authentic, but considering how little preparation time he had, it was quite reasonable, I think. He said later that at some point during the evening, two boys from another school came up to him and asked whether he was really a girl or a boy, because they had made a bet.

Throughout the evening people bought stars on string to hang around the neck of their preferred candidates for Ball Queen (and also Ball King). The enthusiastic support that Paddy got was impressive, and he collected a substantial number of stars, even from people he didn’t know. When the time came to tally up the stars, however, a girl from another school had far more. The rumor was that her proud father had bought enough stars (accounts of the number varied from one hundred to five hundred) to guarantee she would win. Nevertheless, Paddy had more stars than the candidate for Ball King, so Sascha, who was doing the moderation, said to Paddy, “Choose!” Paddy decided to remain a girl, so the other two were crowned King and Queen of the Ball and awarded their prizes, and then they danced a waltz. After the waltz, the new Queen of the Ball went to Paddy and wanted to give him the jewelry she had just received as a prize. At first Paddy refused, saying it was much too expensive and she couldn’t just give it to him, but she insisted, telling him that he was the real winner and he had “earned it”. In the end they agreed to share it, and she took the earrings and Paddy the necklace. Paddy felt that was even better than winning flat out.

An amusing discussion ensued the next morning on Facebook when Paddy complained that he couldn’t remove the rest of the make-up and various people offered advice. Paddy’s conclusion: “Being a girl is just impractical because you make it impractical. If you wore really baggy dresses and flat shoes and your hair just.. open and let your face speak for itself you'd still be just as pretty. I blame the media and evil scientists.”

When Paddy was little, he seemed to have a special talent for blurring boundaries and confounding gender stereotypes. I am happy to see that he can still do it. As “bourgeois and reactionary” as the tradition of a graduation ball might be, at least Paddy managed to add an extra layer of meaning to the title “Queen of the Ball”.

And Peter and I had a very good time together at the ball after all.